With the fourth series of reality television show Big Brother reaching its halfway stage I felt it was time to share with you the reader what might have been. Yes…I entered myself into the Big Brother Auditions this time around. It all started last December when browsing the internet I came across the forms to enter for this years show. After a chat with her indoors I decided to go for it. After borrowing a video camera I recorded my own video diary which had to accompany my application form. Some people find it necessary to strip naked on such tapes or give an insight into there life from the seat of the toilet. I , you will be glad to hear did neither, choosing to give a simple two minute chat on who I was and what I was all about. Once that ordeal was over I posted my application envelope and never gave it a second thought as I enjoyed the festive period.

It was February 2003 and I had all but forgotten about my bid for national humiliation when I received a phone call from a young lady by the name of Matilda from the ‘Big Brother’ office! She said that my application had been successful and that they would like me to come along to the auditions in Newcastle later that month. The auditions took place on a University campus in the City and I was to arrive for a morning appointment. As you would imagine there was a lot of secrecy surrounding the whole process. Arriving at the University I was escorted to a room and once I was registered was left to sit with twenty other hopefuls. The day consisted of us meeting up with the ‘Big Brother’ researchers and getting to know each other through a selection of games some based on the actual show itself. We even had the chance to nominate the person we least wanted to proceed to the next stage. I’m glad to say I didn’t get one vote! We were filmed throughout this part of the day and as we reached lunch time the researchers told us that only a handful of us would be re-called for the afternoon session. We all waited with baited breath… ‘and Steve Wraith’ I was still in with a chance! The afternoon session consisted of further games and then a one on one interview with the researchers, who basically wanted to know why you wanted to appear on the show. It was great fun and as I left the audition I was reminded that should I divulge to anyone that I had been to this audition then I would be discounted from the selection process.

It was a further four weeks before the phone rang again and you could have knocked me down with a feather. I had been selected for the London auditions. I had been treating the whole audition thing as a joke and hadn’t expected to get this far. I was given instructions which I must follow to the letter. I felt like I was part of the Mission Impossible team! I had to get to a Post Office in an idyllic part of Central London and wait for further instruction. On the day I have to admit my nerves were a bit frayed as I waited outside the meeting point. A bald Geordie pacing up and down as the cash is delivered to a Post Office in London does look a bit suspicious doesn’t it! I was more worried about possible arrest for casing the joint than the ‘Big Brother’ audition. After what seemed like an eternity I was approached by one of the researchers who had interviewed me in Newcastle. It was good to see a friendly face. We then made our way to a secret location and I was told that I was to be interviewed by the executive producers of the show. I was told not to worry, and to be myself as that is how I had got this far in the process.

I was then taken hastily to another room and interviewed by the big cheeses Simon and Gigi who would decide wether I was ‘Big Brother’ material. The interview lasted just over half an hour and was recorded for their archives. I felt that I had given it my best shot. I was then told that now was the time to tell my close friends and family that I may be leaving them for pastures new in the summer albeit for ten weeks only. I left London on a high and for the first time was actually contemplating that I might actually make it into the house. As the weeks past it became all to apparent that my dream of ‘Big Brother’ stardom would have to wait for another year as the twelve housemates were unveiled to the world. I received a nice letter from Gigi thanking me for participating and it was only then that I learned that I had reached the last 90 out of an original 110,000 entrants. An achievement in itself. I enjoyed the whole experience and would certainly recommend the ‘Big Brother’ experience to any of you thinking about putting yourself forward for next years show.